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A funny, upbeat, inspiring guide for all those singles who identify with enjoying their unique lifestyles while waiting for the right romance to come along. A celebration of the discerning singles everywhere–the quirkyalone!
There was a time when a single woman over 25 was called an old maid. Mothers fretted these unfortunate creatures might be condemned to a committing a crime of tragic proportions: living a life of eternal spinsterhood. Fortunately, in the 21st century, tv shows like Sex and the City affirm that it's more than ok – it's cool to be single. Sasha Cagen has coined the term that defines the lonely romantic who prefers her (or his) own company to that of a less desirable counterpart. Defining "singledom as a natural resting state" for quirkyalones, Cagen's guide is the best kind of self–empowerment: incisive, savvy, hilarious. Equal parts self–help and hilarious pop culture, QuirkyAlone is self–empowerment for the wise people of the world. Including quizzes, lists, it's not–your–average–relationship–book.
- Sales Rank: #1251547 in Books
- Published on: 2004-01-06
- Released on: 2004-01-06
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.13" h x .65" w x 6.13" l, .77 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 176 pages
From Publishers Weekly
The morning after Cagen, founding editor of the independent magazine To-Do List, attended a "New Year's Eve Party Totally Devoid of [the] Midnight Kiss," she had what she calls a "spontaneous exclamation." She and her friends were "quirkyalones." The word came to her fully formed, and in this zany, untraditional book, she explains the word and the movement it spawned. "Quirkyalone stands in opposition to saccharine, archaic notions of romantic love. It stands for self-respect, independent spirit, creativity, true love, and confidence," Cagen writes, her words echoing with the uplifting message that it's not strange to be single; rather, single is the new norm. Cagen speaks out against dating for the sake of being in a couple and highlights the celebrities who fit and don't fit the quirkyalone mold (Oprah: "of course"; Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks: "[E]nemies of quirkyalones everywhere"). The primary text is spiced up with quotes that zip sideways along the margins, profiles of self-proclaimed quirkyalones, rough pencil drawings and jazzy lists, and the book ends on a suitably quirky note-with a short story Cagen wrote when she was 13. Fun, inspirational and provocative, this book is the perfect antidote to the Valentine's-inspired coupling craze.
Copyright � Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
“Cagen’s up to something that could be as important for women (and men) as The Feminine Mystique was years ago...” (--Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America)
“Fun, inspirational and provocative, this book is the perfect antidote to the Valentine’s-inspired coupling.” (Publishers Weekly)
“Cagen is not against setups or dating…She is emphatically not against sex. Rather, she is ‘anti dull relationship.’” (--New York Times Sunday Styles, 11/29/03)
“We need to give credence to the nonsexual relationships...the idea of having significant others instead of a significant other.” (--Sasha Cagen, from US News & World Report, 10/6/03)
“Cagen has put her finger on [society’s] pulse…a positive spin on flying solo.” (Toronto Globe & Mail)
About the Author
Sasha Cagen's essays have appeared in the Village Voice and Utne. She is the founding editor of To-Do List, a magazine that uses the idea of a to-do list to explore the details of daily life. To-Do List was named the Reader's Choice for Best New Magazine of 2000 in the Utne Alternative Press awards. A native of Rhode Island, Sasha Cagen lives in San Francisco.
Most helpful customer reviews
14 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
A book, a word, and a journey
By Mir
By the time I discovered this book, it had already begun to dawn on me that perhaps I didn't NEED to be in a relationship to be happy, that just maybe what others call "too picky" is really exquisite self-awareness, and that life could be exciting, joyful, and filled with unending possibility once I learned to stop twisting myself into the shape society says we should take and be the real Me instead.
Sasha Cagen gave my journey a name: Quirkyalone.
While I may quibble with a few of the particulars she lays out, the bigger picture she has tapped into is clearly something deep and very important and deserving of attention. I hope that people aren't put off by the "alone" part of the title, because it is not at all about loneliness or isolation. Rather, it's about being courageously and unapologetically true to oneself and living life on one's own terms.
For those of us who feel we've already arrived, this book is comforting validation. For those who seek greater independence and fulfillment in their lives, it just may help lead the way.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Best read of the new millenium!!!!!!!!
By Ingrid Baumgardner
This book articulated what I have felt and believed my whole life: love is important, but it is not always romatically focused. And when it is, it should never be a sellout or settling. This book is for anyone who has never aspired to the status quo of coupledom, but would welcome it when they met the right person. Insightful, playful, cutting edge, inspiring, fun & grounded at different turns... It revolutionized my world bc it gave me a label and a group to identify with. THANK YOU SASHA!!!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Freakin' awesome. Groundbreaking book.
By tara kimes
"I have devoured self-help books, 'attract love into your life' books, and even embraced the dogma of He's Just Not That Into You, and It's Just a Effing Date. These are sassy books aimed solely at women which try to sell the idea that if the guy wants you, they'll chase you. If they don't, they're just not that into you. I blindly accepted this advice, not calling guys who gave me their numbers, not responding to their messages right away, not initiating conversation, and waiting the proper amount of days/ weeks for this so called 'chase' to begin, and generally suppressing my instincts, all so that I would be seen as 'dateable.' click here to reverse this brainwashing Reality hit when these guys left me in the dust.
Enter Quirkyalone
I heard about a book called 'Quirkyalone' that sparked an entire movement of people who were embracing being single and celebrating it, exploring it as just another human condition that didn't have to be 'fixed.' I was fascinated. Were there singles in the world who were just cool with being single, accepting of themselves and their quirks? I bought the book, opened to the first page, and this is what I saw:
quirkyalone- a person who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone rather than date for the sake of being in a couple. With unique traits and an optimistic spirit; a sensibility that transcends relationship status. See also; romantic, idealist, independent."
The book listed examples of quirkyalones throughout history- Queen Elizabeth I, Thoreau, Rosa Parks, and Rumi just to name a few. Inspirational quotes, letters, and funny illustrations were woven throughout the pages and everything quirky was covered, from international quirkyalone day (Feb. 14) to the concept of 'quirkytogether' and the 'quirkyslut'. I highlighted this sentence next:
"When you are single long enough to know singleness is a unique state of being and not just a holding pattern between relationships, you are on the brink of becoming quirkyalone."
This reminded me of my 20s when I would voluntarily take an entire year off in-between boyfriends to explore creative pursuits, while my friends seemed to go from guy to guy. While they were getting married I was driving across the country alone to work on a ranch in Arizona. I longed for what they had, but I also wanted to stay true to myself. Sometimes that led me to alienation, other times liberation.
Cagen's diffrentiation between loneliness and solitude really spoke to me:
Loneliness: When you want the phone to ring, and it doesn't.
Solitude: Walking alone, when a 'little bomb of revelation' comes.
Quirkyalone's message got me at my core. It said you can transcend loneliness and arrive at solitude. And you can come out of that single-shame place. And guess what else? You can be happy. There is no judgement, no self-improvement plan, no strategy to make you 'dateable,' only compassion for a human condition that over half of the U.S. population happen to be in right now. stats on this The entire single population could benefit immensely from the ideas in this book- imagine, a world where vulnerabilities, quirks, and weirdness don't have to be kept in check, or uncomfortably 'exposed,' but welcomed and maybe even celebrated!
Discovering Quirkyalone was great, and then came along It's Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single by Sarah Eckel. Reading these two books back to back was like getting blasted with two awesome rock songs while cruising down the highway on a sunny 70 degree day. Get ready for some freewheeling emancipation!
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